Police humour

Found on the internet; these are said to be real comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were recorded on their car videos:

“You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

“Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

“If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

“You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

“Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

“I’m glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

“You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

Jeff G.

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